Of Picture Perfect and Chanced Meetings #ShortStory

A short story I wrote last year

Characters:

Nur Fatin Julia Bin Abdullah (Abg JJ) – 19 years old

A mistake child. A pengkid. Anak luar nikkah. Broken family, rich bitch. Have everything she needs. Super smart if given right motivation. Studying degree in marketing – help manage step dad’s company. Have spoiled sister who doesn’t like JJ cause she’s too manly. Her mother also hates JJ cause JJ is an eye sore and dotes on Ivianna Damia (JJ's stepsister) greatly.

Ahmad Akil Murtaza (Kak Taza) – 24 years old

Poor family – Oldest of 12. Shemale @ maknyah. Father is crippled. Mother is too weak to do heavy work. Has a degree in insurans but basically pointless. Hard to find job. Need money quick so he chose the easy life – prostitution.

Plot

JJ is a pengkid, have the hard life of the metropolitan jungle and all the hassles that come with it. Tired, scared and irritated with expectation she has to constantly meet, she decided to throw her life away for one person. Taza, a shemale, trying to earn a living to help his family out, encounters JJ. Will the both find happiness and come back from the abyss?

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A picture helps you captures that one moment in your life that you want to remember later on in the future. It tells you the story of a thousand words or more - particularly if it is picture perfect. However, not many can tell the true story behind those captured memories and the secrets that lay within, nor can they tell what a certain future might unfold from those private memories.

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Julia, or JJ for short, was roughly torn from sleep by several loud knocks at her bedroom door. She groans as the knocking continues. “Hang on! I’m coming!” She said loudly and thought to herself groggily. ‘Better be quick. Dealing with an angry mother as early as 7am in the morning is not the best way to kick start my day’.

The knocking was turning to be ever increasingly annoying with each loud KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK that JJ literary feel her blood steadily boiling to her limit. When she finally reaches the door, she just wanted to yank it out of its hinges and scream in her mother’s face. ‘Can’t she wait a few minutes for JJ to get decent first?’ JJ thought severely.

However, JJ managed to supress that urge rather well, even if she do has to say it herself. Instead, she answers by slowly opening the door and ask questioningly “Yes, mother?”

Of the million things JJ expected her mother to do, she did not expect her mother to slap her hard across the face that she had to practically take a few steps back.

“Wha—”

JJ didn’t manage to complete what she was going to say since her mother had roughly pulled her forward by the collar of her Tshirt. Their faces were merely inches within each other. All of JJ’s anger was now replaced by fear. 

“Do you want to know with whom I just had breakfast with?” her mother asked with feral smiled.

“I—”

JJ felt the hands wringing her shirt tighten exponentially.

“It was your Dean, Dr. Fakrul. Lovely man. Though he, being the ever concern educator that he is, brought it to my attention of your latest exploits on campus, in front of all the other Datin and Dato’ present at breakfast just now. Now, would care to enlighten me of what exactly your activities were?” she finished in a lazy drawl.

Silence.

“Well?”

“I…don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Denying was the wrong course of action to take, it seemed, for JJ got another slap across the face. Hard. JJ was sent sprawling on her hands and knees. Tears were beginning to pool in the back of her eyes. She will not give her mother the satisfaction of seeing her break. No!

“It’s who I am, you can’t change it. I can’t change it. You can’t change me.”

“Can’t change it? Heavens help me! You’re becoming more and more rampant. First the boyish clothes, cigarettes and alcohol. And then what? Sex? You coming home pregnant?”

JJ gritted her teeth. It felt like crunching a nut with a nutcracker.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that last part, mom. I don’t swing that way.”

“Well, you got that right, you little tomboy freak. You know…your father’s right. I shouldn’t have kept you, disgraceful brat. I should have aborted you when I had the chance. ”

Ouch. Coup de Grace, much? That had stung more than anyone knew. The tears that she was holding back had finally slipped, betraying her tough façade. JJ picked herself up from the floor slowly. “Is that all you wanted to say, mom?”

“You better watch your step, Little Missy. If ever your Dean comes to me again with so much as a mentioned about your bad behaviour in front of my friends again, or so help me, I would remove you from my properties and our lives indefinitely. All you are is a wretched whelp who had been nothing but a nuisance for our household ever since the dawn of you time and a total home wrecker. I am not going to let you wreck this home too.”

After the deadly speech, her mother had stormed off somewhere. JJ didn’t care where. She closed the door just as slowly as she had opened it and hugged herself tight. This wasn’t the first time she had heard such a speech. Growing up in this home had given her much patience but also much mental abuse. Nevertheless, she was just like a wall. Every fatal comment or speeches like just now leaves a huge impact on her life. Just like when someone hammer a nail on a wall. It will hurt just a little but it will scar for life, given constant hammering.

She did what she always does when she wanted to forget. Clubbing!

She immediately changed into a very smart white dress shirt, dark jet-black leather pants and matching leather boots. Once that was done, she went to the dresser and styled her hair in her favourite style -- slicked back undercut. As she was styling, she glared at her disgusting face. She was a freak, they said. A mistake, they said. Always the same mantra. Always the same insults. Always the same jab at her imperfections. She ignored her emotional instability and continued on styling, feeling less than eager to go out.

After she was satisfied with her work, she activated Siri on her iPhone and asked to redial Adam’s number.

Tut! Tut! Tut!

“Helloooo, mate! ‘sup?” a gruff voice answered.

“Ends of the Earth, Star Walk. 20 minutes.”

“Woah! Hold on a sec! Isn’t it too early for drinks?”

“It’s never too early for drinks, dufos. Are you coming or what?”

“Fam probs, again?”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah, yeah. Give me 30 mins. I’ll bring Mat B with me. Don’t mind, yeah?”

“Bring a truckload, for all I care.” She ended the call and immediately left.

Before going out, she passed the huge family portrait that was hung on the fake mantle.  A constant reminder to what she will never have. It was the picture of a perfect family smiling down at the onlooker. A mother, father and a daughter, JJ's stepsister. JJ wasn’t in the picture. She never was in any of the pictures. It was her perfect half-sister, Tiana. She mumbled something harsh underneath her breath that may sounded like profanities and immediately left before she does something incriminating to that picture, like burn it down. She had always wanted to do it. Though, not today. 

Not today.

“Woah, mate! You might want to hold back on the drinks. You had three Tequilas already. Another more on an empty tummy and you might just regret it.”

“Yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.”

They had been there for hours. She had lost count how many. After the long Karaoke session, 5 rounds of pool, 6 of blackjack and 3 rounds of Air Hockey, you kind of get lost of the time too.

 JJ faintly realize that nightfall is fast approaching cause of the building crowds in the pub are. However, even with 9 shots already in her digestive system, she still felt empty. Sad. She still couldn’t shake of that lonely feeling that grips her soul. It was deeply intertwined with bitter and hatred mix with a little resign pressure, and it was all tightly due to her mother callous words. She wanted to dwell some more on the road of self-pity but JJ was immediately brought back to the present as Adam and Mat B was yammering on.

“Haha! You sure? As a matter of fact, me and Mat over here had just experienced something new yesterday. And it’s definitely something you don’t know.”

“Hmm…what?” Curious. However, the music was starting to give her a huge headache.

“You should have been there, J!” Mat squealed excitedly. “We had to walk home over the boulevard on 3^rd cause both of us decided to get smash yesterday. So, we had to leave our car here but that’s not the point. We tumbled on a bunch of hot babe shemales and they were all like ‘RM30 per night, dears! Want some bootilicous fun?’ Now, we may be drunk as hell but we were sober enough to realize the fakeness of their apparels. We barely made it out alive!” He was laughing so hard that he was having trouble to breathe.

Adam was joining in. JJ joined in as their laughter was quite contagious, either that or her 10^th glass was making her a bit tipsy.

Once he recovered, Adam continued “Yup! Should have been there. We taught they were real babes at first, but turns out they were a total rip off. But by jones, you would have lost on the cuteness scale if we compare you to them. Some of them look like pure 100% women material.”

“Not that there is anything wrong with your tom boy looks, J! Seriously!” Mat B explained quickly as J mood had turned cold at Adam’s last comment.

“Whatever, dudes. I’m outta here.” She had had enough of people telling her off for one day that she just wanted to run away and do something stupid. She heard both of her friends calling her but she ignored them. She wanted to be alone. She let her feet do the walking since driving was out of the equation. Destination, though, was still a mystery to her. JJ didn’t want to go back to a physical prison that was her home. It was not a life for her. There, she was constantly reminded of what could have been hers too, but will never be. She was always left out. She was no family to them. Just like her mother had constantly reminded her.

When she finally look up to find a nearby hotel to check-in, she realized that she was on the boulevard on 3^rd. The place where the boys had said they met all the shemales. It wasn’t that she was offended too badly by her boys’ jibs, but it reminded her of her mothers’ snide remarks and that made her flipped in anger. Reminder of her jail was never good. She stopped walking and leaned on a wall. Grabbing her pack of Dunhill light, she lighted it up and started puffing out rings of smoke.

‘Where to stay tonight? Hmmm’ she mumbled to herself.

“How about with me, darling?” a deep voiced came out of nowhere.

JJ didn’t have to turn to see that one of the shemales had broken off from their flock and to approach her. She could tell just from the voice alone. She wasn’t in the mood to play though.

“I’m a girl. Not interested, never will. Beat it.”

“Alaaa…even just a little?”

“I’m sorry but I only do girls. Real girls.”

“Kindda ironic. I only do men. Real men. Haha. But you actually look pretty manly to me. Rough and handsome. Toned too. Just the way I like them.”

JJ wanted to be offended by that slanderous comment but it was the pure honesty and huskiness in his voice that made her look his way. She immediately felt the blood rise to her cheeks in a light blush at what she saw. Standing before her pouting like an angel sent from the heavens was the prettiest girl, or in this case ‘shemale’, she had ever saw. 

'Fuck!' She swore inwardly. They were right. These bitches are pretty.

He had soft dark brown hair that bobbed and curled past his shoulder blades and set just nicely at the base of his neck. His eyes were watching JJ’s every move with such intensity and passion that made JJ’s heart melt like butter. JJ reached out to touch those beatiful curls but he caught her wandering arms lightly and giggled. She was so close to touching those enchanting locks.

“RM60 per night, handsome, and I’m all yours. Though, hotel isn’t included.”

At this point in anyone's lives, you either do or do not. There is no try. This was one of those moments. This is where you dare to do something totally crazy for once in your life and JJ, damned as she was already, decided to take that highway to hell tonight. She wanted to feel loved by this angel.

“Sure. Lead the way, gorgeous.”

He smiled and did just that.

Everything was a blur after that. She remembered being dragged to a shabby hotel and being pushed on to the bed. She remembered a warm body pressing against hers, warm lips enticing and dancing with her own, but she couldn’t recall more. She was lost to slumber.

When she was admits the land of the living again, she woke up slowly with a huge hangover that threatened to kill her internal organs. She immediately made a beeline towards the toilet bowl. After emptying whatever was left in her tummy, she turned to find a very amused shemale observing her. She accepted the hangover pills that he passed to her gratefully and wolfed it down like a starved animal. Hopefully, it will work to curb her sickness.

“So, did we make it to second base? I can’t remember,” JJ asked while rubbing small circles on her chest.

“Honey, if we did, I would make sure you remember. You fell asleep the minute you reach the mattress.”

“Ahh…sorry. Tired, I guess.” She looked at the shemale up and down skeptically.

“Trust me, I don’t take advantage of my customers. Only their wallets.”

“Haha.”

Silence. JJ was lost in thought again.

“Wanna talk about it, sweetie?”

“Talk about what?”

“Your problem.”

“What makes you so certain I even have a problem?”

“You’re here with me. They always have a problem when people seek me out.”

JJ was quiet at that.

“Cross my heart and hope to die, I won’t tell anyone,” said the shemale happily.

“I don’t even know your name! How am I supposed to tell a stranger about my life so that he’ll understand what I’m going through if I don’t even know his name!” shouted JJ towards the end.

After a few moments, he answered. 

“Ahmad Akil Murtaza Bin Jamalludin. They just call me Kak Taza around here. 24. Libra. Blood type O. From Kelantan, now living in Shah Alam. Muslim. Islam. Former Tahfiz student. What else would you like to know?”

She looked at him like he had grown two heads. 

She asked fearfully “How can you make fun of your religion like that?”

“Like what? I didn’t made fun of it. I was being truthful.”

“But you—“

“Yes, I am muslim and Islamic. Though, aren’t you the same? You don’t fool me, kiddo. You look totally muslim too, to me. And, I think it’s customary to introduce oneself too.”

JJ blushed.

“My name is Nur Fatin Julia Binti…Binti.. Abdullah.” JJ pause, ashamed. She didn’t want to mention the last part but she thought that maybe Kak Taza wouldn’t judge her on her ‘Abdullah’ status. “They call me Bro J. Or JJ. 19. Not sure what my blood type is or my horoscope but my birthday is in October. And…I’m.. a muslim, too.”

“Lovely name.”

JJ ‘s cheeks flushed red.

“Thanks,” she answered.

“Why don’t you sit down first, honey? Have something to eat. I bought us some roti canai downstairs. You must be famished.”

A loud rumbling sound emitted from the depth of her stomach successfully piercing the silence.

“Well, that settles it! Come!” Kak Taza literally dragged JJ to eat.

It was awkward at first but JJ warmed up to him quickly. They both told their stories on how they ended up getting there. JJ revealed about her family and how she was born out of wedlock or how she was not properly taught the ways of Islam. She went to an international school (totally paid by her step-father) and didn’t get much religious education, neither the love she always sought for from her family. Thus, she had always rebelled. Although she was a genius in education by some standards, she was also tired of her life. She tried to kill herself once, she informed her attentive companion but her best friends helped her. She did it because she was disappointed with men and trying to use her. It was why she turned transvestite – a pengkid, both in physical outlook and sexual orientation. She couldn’t look at men in the same light again.

All the while she was explaining, Kak Taza was her most avid listener. He listened as if all the information she had to tell him were crucial information necessary to defeat a war or something and that if he missed out any bits and pieces, he would be at total lost.

She totally loved the attention that she had received. She felt that she had to return it in kind, when it came to her turn to listen.

Kak Taza was from a poor family. Both his parents are dead. He was oldest in his family of 10. He was a Tahfiz student. Brilliant and excelled in his studies. However, being excellent didn’t feed his hungry and sick siblings. He came to the city to search for an honest living but instead found his way into the life of gender-bending. The cash he makes was twice as fast and it got his siblings by and by. He told JJ that he wanted to quit, but he couldn’t.

“Kids don’t pay for themselves, you know!” he laughed heartily at his own joke as he explained why he couldn’t quit his job as of yet.

JJ was silent in somber contemplation.

“So, what? You’re judging me now, sweetie?”

“No! No, I’m not. I just…was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You’re lucky, you know.”

“Why is that?”

“You know you have a family that loves you, even if you don’t have anything you want but they still love you. You won’t ever be lonely.”

“I could say the same for you, sweet-cheeks. You have quite the number of gadgets here. IPhone, iPad, and a Nintendo DS. Interesting. You are rich in materials but poor in proper family guidance and love. Strange world we live in, huh?”

“I longed to be where you are, Kak Taza. Seriously, you are lucky. Whenever you want to repent, and turn back to normal, all you have to do is choose. You have the knowledge and the love from your family that will help you. I…I.. don’t have either.”

She chuckled bitterly before continuing on. “You wanna know something? I tried. I tried going back to normal. Dressing normally, I mean, like a real girl but it just felt weird on me. I even tried to learn how to pray. Learn how to be a real muslim. But..but..The first time I tried taking my wudhu, it felt like the water was hot lava! I couldn’t touch it. It burned. It hurt. I was so shocked. I tried and tried but I just couldn’t touch the water.” 

By this time, she wasn’t the strong manly men that Kak Taza said she was. She was just some emotional girl crying her heart out in front of her close confidant.

Kak Taza merely hugged JJ and offered his silent comfort to her. “Does god hate me Taza? Does he not accept my efforts in coming back to him? Am I that evil to repent?”

“God is almighty. I strongly believe he accepts your efforts but you need to push on and prevail. Giving up along the way isn’t enough to prove to Him, sweetie.”

“I wish I know what to do with my life now.”

“Move on. Find help. There is always help to be found whenever it is sought.”

“Maybe you can help me?”

“Me? Hellooooo. Are you blind? Have you taken a close look at me?” Kak Taza put his hands on the fake boobs and jiggles it a few times for emphasis. 

“And why me? There are others more qualified than I out there.”

“Well, you said you were a tahfiz. Isn’t a tahfiz supposed to be knowledgeable?”

“Yeah, sure, but—“

“Then, why not?” JJ practically demanded.

Taza sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You see, whenever I’m like this, I don’t want to ruin our religion’s reputation. You imagine if someone wears tudung but doesn’t pray, won’t it be an awful image to our religion? I don’t do religion when I’m Kak Taza. Like I said, I have 10 siblings to feed and school. I won’t be able to make enough if I go back to being who I was, being Murtaza.”

JJ was in deep thought after Kak Taza’s speech. Then, suddenly, she blurted out “Marry me.”

“Excuse me!?”

“You heard me, marry me!”

Now it was Kak Taza’s turn to look at JJ as if she had grown two heads.

“You’re insane.”

“I have the financials covered. You have the expertise in leading a family and teach me to become better. We will make a great pair!”

“I repeat, you’re insane.”

“No! Don’t blow me off! Think about it, please!”

“We’ve just met! I don’t even know much about you! How am I supposed to marry a stranger and help her understand Islam when I’m barely practicing it myself!” shouted JJ towards the end.

JJ had backed away and looked thoroughly cowed.

“I..it was just a suggestion. I thought we could help each other out. I’ll just leave.” She immediately got up and gathered all her things. Just as she was about to drop couple of RM50 bill on the table, Taza came up to her and hugged her tightly.

“I want this. It’s like a shining  ray of hope and opportunity for me to go back and actually do something good, Julia. When I first saw you leaning on that wall, I knew I had to approach you. I felt deep in my heart you were something. I didn’t know what the feeling was. But I needed to be with you when I approached you.” Taza whispered in JJ’s ear. 

“But you have to understand, marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly.”

“I know.”

“I have many flaws. Many, many flaws.”

“I’ll get used to them. It’s not like I don’t have them as well.” JJ whispered.

“I’m very demanding. If you marry me, you’ll have to do what I say. Staring with wearing a hijab.”

Julia pushed away lightly from Kak Taza. She watched him intensely before answering “If you marry me, I am all yours. Heart, body and soul.” It was the first time she had seen kak Taza blushed that it made Julia wanted to kiss him again.

However, Kak Taza put a hand on her lips and said “How about we start over?” and then she watched as Taza started to strip one by one of every article of clothing he had on him. He first started with his wig, dress, bra, shoes and pantyhose. When he was done, he was just in his knickers. Now, JJ was the one to blush crimson red. She turned slightly so she doesn’t have to fully see the view although she took a peak once or twice. Kak Taza was rummaging in a duffel bag that JJ didn’t notice was in the room before for a Tshirt and Jeans, to which he immediately put on once he had retrieved them.

Once done, he came over looking like a new man.

“Assalamualaikkum. Hi. My name is Ahmad Akil Murtaza. You can call me Murtaza. It’s nice to meet you,” said Murtaza while giving JJ a huge grin. He was met by a confused look.

“Wa..wa..Wa alai..” JJ tried to answer but looked on helplessly at Murtaza.

“You answer with, Waalaikumsalam.”

JJ grinned and answered “Waalaikumsalam!”

JJ suddenly had a bright idea. She grabbed all the article of clothing that Murtaza had dropped earlier and rushed to the bathroom. There, she washed her gel hair and face thoroughly. After, she stepped into all the article of clothing while silently thanking god that she was almost the same build as Murtaza in terms of women clothing size. Once done, she went out to see what Murtaza thought of her looks.

“Hai. My name is Nur Fatin Julia Binti Abdullah. You can call me Julia. It’s nice to meet you too.” Julia said earnestly, feeling a thousand years light hearted.

Murtaza smiled softly at her apparel and antics. Grabbing his phone, he went to stand next to Julia, but not close enough to touch and took their picture together.

It was so cliché, I know, but it was their story and it was theirs to tell.

An odd beginning in their little tryst but readers, Julia married him. Both had done a complete 360 in each other’s lives. Despite the fact that Murtaza was diagnosed with HIV and died at the age of 29, they were still happily married for 5 years and were granted a healthy baby boy. They named him Khairuzan Samih which means a ‘forgiving leader’, with the hopes that baby Samih would someday become a forgiving leader that will guide people back to almighty Allah.

Julia’s family still didn’t accept her as she had hoped but she could never care less as she had made new family with her marriage to Murtaza. Julia is now one of the leading speakers for Social Issue awareness. She is plays a huge element in motivating youth in avoiding the path of hardships and failures. Murtaza got a good job selling insurance but still helped Julia in her development programs.

After Murtaza’s death, she was really upset but she knows that she had to continue on paving the road in the right manner for her dear beloved. Whenever she misses him, she would take out the picture they took together on their first encounter and she would smile and send a silent prayer every time.

It goes to show how unclear a perfect picture can be. Nevertheless, once given enough time and effort to hear the full story behind the picture, it will fuel us into so many secrets that we are not privy to and who knows, it may someday bring us to a chanced meeting that will stay with each other for ever.

~~THE END~~

***12/08/12***