I am a sick, twisted and or a demented freak with a broken heart. Or that's how I'm feeling at the mo. I spent most of the day today going in and out of sleep. I got a high fever. Flu. Sore throat. Cough. The whole enchilada. Yay for me, right?
But despite that, I have been very productive. I had channeled all of my anger and frustration into my writing. This is a good thing. No. Don't doubt me. It IS a good thing. Readers, expect a nice long and beautiful (yeah, right) update on all of my stories from me starting next week. Haha. I also manage to write an interlude on a new piece I've been working on. This new story channels greatly my life story. It's turning into a short novel after drafting it out but it helps past the time. And time is ALL I have now. Need to get my mind so busy that my it won't have the time for my heart.
However..., I got a call from you. And everything crashes.
Your continuous concern hurts me. I don't want it too but it does.
You can never be mine and I need to keep stepping back.
I can keep on smiling for you but my heart breaks every which way if I do. Slowly.
I am a person, who, when in love with someone so much, it becomes hard to turn away. You know this. I know you do. I don't care if you're doing it intentionally or unintentionally. I deserved it. I played your heart. Now I let you play with mine.
I...just heard this song. I sang it for you. You won't know of it. Just...cause.
Fuck my emotions.
Truth be told...When I asked you 'can we just be friends?', and had you continuously said no, I would have left everything I had for you. haha. Bad you didn't. No one ever does. Funny what I'd do for one someone had they just continued on.
Well...enough ramblings. This is my own hell I've created for myself. I must face this alone.
Enjoy the crappy music.
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