-cringes- A week left to Raya everyone! People all around are getting into the festive mood. The overall cheer is going around e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Raya songs is bursting through the radio, decorations are going up and people are talking about the holidays.
Me? I can't lie. Deep down it sickens me to see people so happy. I guess I'm stuck with an odd sense of jealousy. I still don't see the point in all the festive cheer. After a month of striving and learning humility, people just give it all away in one single day? Gluttony, lust, envy, pride, anger, sloth. lol. I'm sorry, it's just too hypocritically hilarious.
Me? I can't lie. Deep down it sickens me to see people so happy. I guess I'm stuck with an odd sense of jealousy. I still don't see the point in all the festive cheer. After a month of striving and learning humility, people just give it all away in one single day? Gluttony, lust, envy, pride, anger, sloth. lol. I'm sorry, it's just too hypocritically hilarious.
-shrug- I guess I'm more like Scrooge in that sense. Bah humbug? -smiles sadly- It's been years since I've celebrate it with dad. I had always spent it with mom whom can't even drudge up any single festive spirit if her life dependent on it. -facepalm-
I wish I can understand what it's like but I don't. I seriously don't. Waste money to get decorations. Spend to much on new clothes. Buying to much raya cookies that you are not even going to finish all of them. Gossip and belittle family members at gatherings. I don't get the, to me, false sense of happiness people exudes.
There's no one I'd rather be with during this time of year. Every year, it's still the same. Though, with each year, it varies slightly. Varies, as in, the degree of how much I want to jump of a cliff at that moment. -glares- I'm sure, in a short while, my mom will remind me my dad hadn't called, neither had he bothered to see me. Then there's my whole extended family. They are like this super family that everyone envies. Good kids with good education. Good parents. Good salary. -shrug- Painful reminder of everything my family, nor I, am not.
I wish I can understand what it's like but I don't. I seriously don't. Waste money to get decorations. Spend to much on new clothes. Buying to much raya cookies that you are not even going to finish all of them. Gossip and belittle family members at gatherings. I don't get the, to me, false sense of happiness people exudes.
There's no one I'd rather be with during this time of year. Every year, it's still the same. Though, with each year, it varies slightly. Varies, as in, the degree of how much I want to jump of a cliff at that moment. -glares- I'm sure, in a short while, my mom will remind me my dad hadn't called, neither had he bothered to see me. Then there's my whole extended family. They are like this super family that everyone envies. Good kids with good education. Good parents. Good salary. -shrug- Painful reminder of everything my family, nor I, am not.
Nevertheless, I wish everyone a very Happy Eid. :) I'm so sorry about me, it's just, I'm always like this every year. And during birthdays. Don't let my moody mood effects your Raya cheer though! Stay safe, friends. And be strong, for we have another week of fasting left. And please don't let temptations dictate how you live your life! :D
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